I'll See You in My Dreams
by lovejag
Summary: It's all about destiny, and how fate works to bring two people together who are soul mates.
1. I'll See You in My Dreams

"I'll See You in My Dreams" 1/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Rating: Mostly PG, but their might be parts that are PG-13.  
  
Spoilers: If it's an episode, then I make no promises it won't be used.  
  
Disclaimer: JAG doesn't belong to me! Also this story is based on the movie "A Guy Named Joe" which starred Spencer Tracy, Irene Dunne, and Van Johnson, and directed by Victor Fleming in 1943. The movie and its plotline don't belong to me either. All songs used in this story are also not mine but they will be disclaimed as I use them.  
  
Pairing: Mac/Other, Harm/Mac are the main ones.  
  
Summary: This is a story about destiny, and how the fates work to bring two people together that are soul mates. The series will run the full series of JAG with new additional scenes and same scenes with the thoughts of the characters. Nothing is altered, but hopefully give you a new insight into the episodes and the characters.  
  
Author's Note: Thanks to Slick for letting me run off ideas on her for the last couple of months to get this story straightened out in my own mind. Thanks to Mac for betaing!  
  
Feedback: Please! It helps me write faster.  
  
~~ - means dream  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
I'll See You in My Dreams by Gus Kahn and Isham Jones  
  
Sung by Doris Day in the movie "I'll See You in My Dreams."  
  
I'll see you in my dreams, hold you in my dreams. Someone took you out of my arms, still I feel the thrill of your charms. Lips that once were mine, tender eyes that shine, they will light my way tonight, I'll see you in my dreams.  
  
I'll see you in my dreams, hold you in my dreams. Someone took you out of my arms, still I feel the thrill of your charms. Lips that once were mine, tender eyes that shine, they will light my way tonight, I'll see you in my dreams.  
  
************************************  
  
A lone woman lays on a white sheet while the bed cover tangles around her legs tying itself into knots. She moves side to side asleep as her dreams go to and fro from dreams to nightmares. All about one man, the man she has loved since the day she met him. The man she was going to marry as soon as he was sent home from war, and she was a free woman. The papers were laying next to her all ready to go to be sent.  
  
~~ Sarah Mackenzie haphazardly wiped at her eyes. There was no use as the tears kept falling as she was held by the man she would always love. The man who was being deployed overseas to fight the war with Iraq.   
  
His arms clung to her like he never wanted to let go, and she loved the feeling of comfort she received from it. To the other sailors and family surrounding them, they looked like a young couple completely in love with each other, and they would have been right.   
  
"I love you, Sarah! Don't ever forget that." He moved away slightly to look at her face memorizing every detail in his mind. Getting his fill, he bent to kiss her passionately to savor it.   
  
When the kiss broke apart, he bent down on one knee, and took something out of his pocket. "Sarah, I love you so much! I know you can't really promise me anything yet, but I want you to have this as a token of my love. Please promise me one day you'll become my wife?"  
  
He pulled out the diamond engagement ring, and held it up to her. Her face was filled with tears, but he heard the quiet "yes" from her mouth. Sliding the ring onto her ring finger, he kissed her once more before running to the ship and the journey ahead of him.~~  
  
The woman's body seemed to relax after that dream, but as another nightmare hit her the restless movements came back full force. The tears started to fall on her face as it distorted in pain, and her body curled up in a fetal position.   
  
It was then she woke up with one word on her lips, "No!" Only taking a moment to check her night wear, she ran out of her quarters and ran down the stairs to the only other man she trusted.  
  
Her knock surprised the man on the other side of the door. He had not expected anyone to come this late at night. Checking the peephole, he realized it was Mac standing out there.   
  
"What's wrong, Mac?" Lt. Connelly asked.  
  
"He's dying! In so much pain!" she answered.  
  
"Who is?"  
  
"I love him, and they're taking him away from me."   
  
He opened his mouth to ask more, but she had collapsed unconscious in his arms. He spent moments trying to get her to wake up, but she was out cold. Getting dressed, then he rushed her to the hospital afraid something was seriously wrong.  
  
*************************************  
  
Over the Persian Gulf  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harmon Rabb, Jr. sat in the cockpit of his tomcat. His mind wandering as the voice of the man who died earlier that night repeated in his head. The scream of pain had been overheard by all on the same frequency as him, but only a moment later a calm four words were said, "I love you, Sarah," and there had been nothing else transmitted. The man's last breath had been dedicated to the woman he loved.   
  
When a search team had gone looking for his down airplane there had been practically nothing left resembling an airplane. The two men inside had no chance of living. Those thoughts made him shiver.  
  
The rain hitting the airplane came to his ears sounding like weapon fire like that man would have taken. The water below was reaching high into the skies at the force of the storm.  
  
The ship was looming ahead of him as it pitched into the water. The view was blurry as he tried to get lined up for landing, but his own eyesight being off plus the rolling made it hard for him to do so.  
  
His RIO was yelling at him trying to tell him what was wrong, but it was not reaching him as got closer to that edge of the ship. He wondered if he would have the same fate as the man before him.   
  
These thoughts brought him back to his job, and he tried to straighten up and even go around once more if needed. When he realized there was no hope he pulled at the ejection seat trying to get free before he would be smashed in between the ship and his airplane.  
  
It was too late! All he could feel at that moment was the pain before as his world went from a bright orange of fire to blackness.  
  
TBC... (I promise it will all make more sense in the next part.) 


	2. They Can't Take That Away from Me

I'll See You in My Dreams: They Can't Take That Away From Me 2/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own JAG nor "A Guy Named Joe."   
  
AN: Thank you to all that reviewed! This part should make it less confusing as things get explained.   
  
For those who want to know more about the movie, "A Guy Named Joe" go to www.imdb.com and do a search. The website has plot summary plus a trailer which helps explain a lot. The song "They Can't Take That Away From Me" is shortened. Thanks to Lauri for betaing!  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"They Can't Take That Away From Me" by George and Ira Gershwin  
  
Sung by Fred Astaire in "Shall We Dance" and "Barkleys of Broadway"  
  
The way you wear your hat  
  
The way you sip your tea  
  
The memory of all that  
  
No, no, they can't take that away from me  
  
The way your smile just beams  
  
The way you sing off key  
  
The way you haunt my dreams  
  
No, no, they can't take that away from me  
  
We may never never meet again, on the bumpy road to love  
  
But I'll always, always keep the memory of  
  
The way you hold your knife  
  
The way we danced till three  
  
The way you've changed my life  
  
No they can't take that away from me  
  
No they can't take that away from me  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Next Morning  
  
February 10, 1991  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"He's gone, isn't he?" Sarah Mackenzie asked the man sitting next to her hospital bed.  
  
"Yes, Mac, he is. His plane went down last night. There was no chance of survival," Lt. Mike Connelly answered.  
  
"Peter's in no more pain." She looked at the man next to her finally. His eyes were red, and he looked like he had no sleep. "You need to get some rest."  
  
"I will when you get out of here. The doctors can't seem to find any reason why you went unconscious. They've wanted to keep you under watch to make sure that there was no head injury that hasn't shown up on the x-rays yet."  
  
"No, get some rest, and then come back later. You have to work tonight, remember?"  
  
"Are you going to be all right alone?"  
  
"Yes I will. I just want some alone time right now."  
  
"Just call me if you need anything." He squeezed her hand before he left.  
  
************************************  
  
An Hour later  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Trish Burnett was trying hard not to let her worry over her son get to her. She wanted to believe he was going to be all right. Having received a phone call last night to inform her of her son's crash, she was told that he would be sent as soon as he was stable to a hospital in the states. The doctors could only do so much on the ship, and what he needed would be best provided here.   
  
She had rushed to find a plane, and then went straight to the hospital and beat the medivac. The inactiveness was allowing her brain to think of only the worst, but she had to stay strong. She walked the halls looking for some kind of soda machine or some coffee.  
  
The corridor seemed eerily quiet, but as she passed one door, she heard what couldn't be mistaken for anything else but a sob. Her motherly heart could not ignore the cries from behind the door.   
  
She quietly knocked before slowly opening the door. Not wanting to scare the person on the other side.   
  
"Are you all right?" Trish asked.  
  
The woman before her sat up straighter and finally looked up at her. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you, ma'am."  
  
"No, I was just walking by and heard you crying. I wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you in pain? The nurses should be able to give you something."  
  
"It's not that kind of pain." The woman looked down afraid to tell a stranger why she was crying.  
  
Trish watched her laying there. "Sometimes the pain lessons if you talk about it with someone. We could just sit here and exchange sob stories."  
  
The woman gave her a slight smile. "Why does a perfect stranger want to hear my story?"  
  
"Right now I really don't want to think about mine, and I see a woman who is hurting badly and she is all alone. I'm Trish."  
  
"Mac." At Trish's look, Mac went on to explain. "That's the nickname they gave me at boot camp."  
  
"You're in the Army?"  
  
"Never! I'm a marine."  
  
"You sound like my son when you say that, but he is a Navy pilot." When the little life that had been brought to Mac's eyes went out again, Trish changed courses. "Now tell me about the young man that gave you that beautiful ring."  
  
"Peter Davis, a Navy pilot like your son. I met him on my first duty assignment when he was on leave. His ship had just docked, and we literally ran into each other. He said he couldn't just run into a girl like that, and not take her out for some coffee. I was a little weary at first with him being a complete stranger, but I went. We eventually became best friends. The I love yous wouldn't come until later. A month ago his ship was once again leaving, and just before he went to get on he proposed. That was the last time I saw him. He died last night after a bombing of Iraq. His plane crashed into the ground, and there was nothing to do to save him."  
  
Trish looked down at the woman who's tears had come back silently this time. Trish knew she was one lucky woman to have her son alive still. He had at least a chance of living. The woman before her had lost the man she was in love with.  
  
"Now tell me about your son," Mac said, wanting to change the subject.  
  
"My son is probably the stereotypical Navy pilot including the flyboy smile. His father and him are spitting images of each other. He has never wanted to be anything else but a pilot. He takes after both his grandfather and father in that attitude. I just hope that he won't end up like them, dying before their time defending his country. He and Luke and Keeter loved to come up to the house when they were on leave from the Academy and later flight school. What a group they made. Here they spend all their time out in the middle of the ocean now, but still spend all their time in the water when they visit."  
  
"I think they never feel right until they are near water. They feel out of their element without it. Peter was always like that. He needed the water to almost survive. I would tease him about it all the time, but he would just give me a look like 'you love my addiction to water and you know it.' He was right like always, I loved his addiction and everything about him."  
  
They talked for a little while longer, but before Trish went to find out about her son, she left Mac with one last piece of advice. "Don't live your life in remembrance of the man you love, but move on and maybe one day you'll find another man you can give your love too. I did so can you."  
  
************************************  
  
Sarah Mackenzie's Apartment  
  
2 days later  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Her whole body felt numb as she entered her apartment. Today had been Peter's memorial service. There had been no body to recover and bury, so it was just a special service in his memory.   
  
His friends had come to pay their last respects, and what was left of his family showed up. The pain had left her body, but it was not replaced with anything. Walking to her bed, she noticed the papers on her desk. It was her divorce papers from Chris.   
  
She had been afraid what would happen if she turned in those papers, and he got notice of the divorce. Peter had been her strength to go through it. He would have made sure she was safe, but he was no longer there.   
  
There was no more use in those papers. She would never love again. She couldn't, because there was no more room in her heart to love someone again. She would never have to face Chris if she didn't get those papers filed for divorce. No one needed to know that she was still married to that man. It was her past, and that was nobody's business unless she wanted them to know.  
  
Before she knew it the papers in her hands were ripped apart into pieces. Nothing was left of them by the time she was through. Throwing the pieces in her garbage, she tied it up and took it outside for the dumpster. Hoping against hope that out of her sight meant out of her mind.   
  
Getting back to her room, she collapsed on the bed and cried. All her dreams, she thought, would never come true of a home and family. It was not her destiny to have those dreams come true.  
  
************************************  
  
Heaven  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile up in Heaven, Lt.(j.g.) Peter Davis stood at attention in front of an Admiral.  
  
"Reporting as ordered, Sir," said Peter.  
  
"At ease, there's no need to stand at attention up here. We have a special assignment for you, Peter. By special request, you are being sent back to Earth as a guardian angel type to a Harmon David Rabb, Jr. He's a Navy pilot, or used to be one, but he was in a serious ramp strike. He's alive, but he's going to be through alot, and his father wants someone to watch over him."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"That will be all, dismissed. My assistant will take you back down to where Lt.(j.g.) Rabb is being hospitalized."  
  
With his orders firmly in place, Peter Davis headed back to Earth.  
  
TBC...  
  
AN2: Want a great picture of what I consider Peter Davis looked like if he lived to be 40? Here's a picture at http://www.angelfire.com/nj/homewenn/images/scott1.jpg. Next chapter will be about Harm and his recovery at his Grandma Sarah's farm. 


	3. I'll Be Seeing You

"I'll See You in My Dreams: I'll Be Seeing You" 3/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: JAG doesn't belong to me, the song, nor the movie "A Guy Named Joe."  
  
AN: Thanks to all the wonderful reviews! If something is confusing please ask, and I'll try to answer it for you.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"I'll Be Seeing You" by Irving Fahal and Sammy Fain  
  
Sung by Bing Crosby in the movie, "I'll Be Seeing You"  
  
I'll be seeing you  
  
In all the old familiar places  
  
That this heart of mine embraces  
  
All day through  
  
In that small cafe  
  
The park across the way  
  
The children's carousel  
  
And The chestnut trees  
  
The wishing well  
  
And I'll be seeing you  
  
In every lovely summer's day  
  
And everything that's bright and gay  
  
I'll always think of you that way  
  
I'll find you in the morning sun  
  
And when the night is new  
  
I'll be looking at the moon   
  
But I'll be seeing you  
  
*************************************  
  
Grandma Sara's Farm  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harmon Rabb, Jr. stood in the doorway of the old farmhouse leaning against the door frame. At his side was the testimony to his accident, and the recovery he was still making to wellville, his cane. It was once his grandfather's when he had broken his leg as a young man.   
  
The past was something Harm could connect to, and hold on to while his future was thrown up in the air with his diagnosis of night blindness. All his life, he wanted to be a pilot like his father and grandfather. It was a connection between all three of them that life had never given them.   
  
Left behind were two women who loved those two men with all their hearts. One to spend life alone, and another to find happiness with another man. Another man that Harm had never allowed really into his life. To do so felt like he was replacing his father, a father he believed was still alive somewhere. He would find him some day.   
  
In the barn stood another piece of history of the Rabb family. A bi-plane Steerman that was no longer in working order, but fixable in the young Rabb's mind. His father and him had planned to fix it up one day for them to fly together, but that day never came. Now Harm had all the time in the world and he would fix it.  
  
His leg was starting to heal, and every day he tried to make the walk to the barn. It would get to be too much for him to handle, and he would slowly walk back defeated by his pain. He was almost to the point of reaching it, and he knew that he would do so by the end of the week if not sooner.  
  
He headed on his long journey to the barn that stood high in the sky. Using the cane as much as he could. A voice in his head kept telling him, 'Go, you can do it, you can make it.'   
  
His determination growing with each step, Harm gathered all his strength to reach that barn; slowly he reached it. Reaching up to wipe his face, Harm found tears of exhaustion and pain lying there from the trip. A reminder of what he had to go through to get there.   
  
His body collapsed as he entered the barn. Laying there for quite awhile, Harm rested to make his trip make to the house. His grandmother would get worried soon if he didn't come back, and come in search for him.  
  
Behind him stood the bi-plane all covered up with dust collecting all over. Standing up slowly, he went to the plane. Slowly removing the cover, he revealed what to him looked like a magnificent plane   
  
This was his dream for the future. Harm stood there for minutes just staring at it. It was what he needed. The connection of family, his past, and his future was wrapped up in that plane.  
  
Two hours later, Grandma Sara discovered her sleeping grandson in the barn. His hand lay on the plane, and on his face was the first real smile she had seen from him since he arrived. She grabbed the cover and covered him up letting him sleep there with his dream.  
  
**************************************  
  
Miramar, California  
  
3 months later  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harmon Rabb, Jr. was not doing what he wanted to be doing. He was a mechanic, for heaven's sake. The Navy had decided he knew enough planes to train him on how to fix and prepare them for flight.  
  
The only thing they had been interesting lately was the JAG investigation into the pilot that died last week. The JAG had been running around like a chicken with his head cut off for five days. Harm had lost count how many times he had been interviewed for the case. Some of the mechanics and pilots had started complaining about the annoyance he had been causing.  
  
The man seemed determined that someone was the cause of that airplane crash, and it wasn't just pilot error. The pilot had been a good one, not as well as himself, but a good one. Things happen, Harm knew, no matter how good of a pilot you were.   
  
Two weeks later, a man was being tried for sabotage of the airplane. A mechanic Harm had only met briefly. For some reason, Harm had been drawn to the courtroom as the trial went on. He didn't know if he believed the man was guilty or not, but he found himself wanting to hear both sides and finding his own verdict.  
  
After the case was over, Harm found himself talking to the JAG lawyer that prosecuted.  
  
"You knew from the beginning it was sabotage without any evidence. What gave you the determination to follow through?" Harm asked the man.  
  
"Lt., I have to go with my gut instinct sometimes. There is more to investigating then just asking questions and getting the appropriate answers. Truth is the most important thing so justice can be determined. How would you feel if someone you cared or loved was wrongly accused of something, but because no one was determined to find out what really happened they were incriminated?"  
  
"That shouldn't happen to anyone."  
  
"Exactly my point. That's my job, to make sure that doesn't happen to anyone. If I didn't find out the truth this could happen again. Now there is one less chance that it will happen to another pilot. We need good pilots, and to lose them because our own men killed them is wrong."  
  
Harmon Rabb Jr. stood stunned. The man walked away not realizing just how much of a role he may have played in Harm's life. Some day he might find out, but for now Harm stood wondering if he had the determination to follow through like the JAG man, and find truth and justice.  
  
A slow smile crept across his face as he realized he found his future.  
  
TBC... 


	4. Now It Can Be Told

"I'll See You in My Dreams: Now It Can Be Told" 4/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything to do with this story, but the plot and Peter Davis, if he appeared on the show would be played by Kevin O'Rourke.  
  
Spoilers: In this part is for "We the People."  
  
Author's Note: I haven't done this yet and I should, I would like to thank all the wonderful sites that helped me get the ideas for this storyline and helped me with dates. The sites includes The Rose Garden, MACONJAG, and the now down websites JAG Asylum and Dress Whites and Roses. Before writing this part I started wondering why in the world was Mac at the rose garden? It wasn't like they were heading to Arizona from there, they went to JAG Headquarters afterwards. Oh well, it gave us a romantic beginning for Harm and Mac.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"Now It Can Be Told" by Irving Berlin  
  
Sung by Don Ameche and Alice Faye in "Alexander's Ragtime Band"  
  
Now it can be told Told in all its glory Now that we have met, The world may know the sentimental story The greatest romance they ever knew Is waiting to unfold  
  
Now it can be told As an inspiration Ev'ry other tale of "Boy Meets Girl" Is just an imitation The great love story has never been told before, But now, now it can be told  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
Night Before Meeting  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sarah Mackenzie," said Mac slightly out of breath having to hurry to answer the phone since it was on the other side of the apartment and it was buried beneath packages.  
  
"Hello, Major, this is Admiral Chegwidden. I hope you are finding your new place suitable."  
  
"Yes, sir, whoever chose this place has extraordinary taste." 'They just need to work on their organizational skills," Mac thought to herself since she knew where nothing was packed. When she was told she was transferring to JAG Headquarters, and was sent by transport to Andrews. She had little idea what was going on, but somehow they had found her a place to live and packed all her stuff up and moved it in short notice.  
  
"Good to hear, but that's not why I called. Instead of meeting tomorrow at JAG Headquarters, I invite you to join us at the White House Rose Garden for the award's ceremony."  
  
"Thank you, sir, I have never been there."  
  
"Very few are allowed. It should give you a chance to meet Lt. Commander Rabb before you get into the investigation, and can be briefed. Did you get the information I sent?"  
  
"Yes, it came to my apartment before I left."  
  
"All right, I'll send a car around to pick you up, and we'll meet at the entrance of the Rose Garden after the ceremony. Good night."  
  
"Good night, sir."  
  
After hanging up, Mac cleared a spot on the couch to sit down. Her mind filled with the thoughts of new pilot joining her life. Her feelings being mixed, she didn't know if she was excited, scared, nervous, or just expecting a twin of Peter in the flyboy personality.  
  
If he was anything like Peter, Mac knew she could handle it. It took her awhile to get over Peter's obvious flyboy personality, but she fell in love with it just as much as the man.   
  
There was one fear that lay strong in her heart though. Pilots can die! That reminder made her want to shrink away from her new partner. Getting close to pilots was never a good idea. She knew that men and women could die in battle. It was nothing to her, but the pain and knowledge of a man she loved dying in an airplane was much more a stronger argument.  
  
She was excited for this new transfer, though she was still angry at the lost of working the double murder case. It was an important case, and she didn't want to leave it behind. Her excitement still stemmed in her heart for this chance. It meant that she was going to be taking on bigger and more important investigations then the local investigations at her last base. It could be a big boost in her career also. Very little mattered anymore in her life then her career, and keeping the memory of Peter in her heart.  
  
His memory caused her pain, and as she sat there, she grasped the ring that hang from a chain around her neck. Pictures and a ring were the only physical things she had to remember him by. She would hold onto them for the rest of her life, because there would be no one else for her.  
  
A lone tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly swiped it away angrily. She had been done with crying since Peter's death. She got up and went to bed.  
  
She whispered just before falling asleep, "Peter, I'm going to need your help on this one. I can't allow myself to get close to him."  
  
*************************************  
  
Rose Garden  
  
Next Day  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm's heart caught up in his throat as he caught his new partner waiting for them. It was like looking at a twin of Diane's. With even a look he could see they were two different women. The differences in just how they would greet were different.  
  
His mind flashed him back to a momentary memory of his now dead love. He almost missed the hand held out. Her friendly 'Mac' started to shake him out of his memories. At the last second he pulled out his hand to shake hers and said 'Harm.' The handshake brought him to shiver. There was something different in this handshake.   
  
He quickly answered the Admiral's question without thinking, and hurriedly had to explain his answer. As another flashback hit him, he wondered if it was going to be like this for the rest of their partnership. The constant memories would drive him nuts at some point. He knew he had to make memories with his new partner to replace the memories of the past, but he didn't know how.  
  
The Admiral's words as he told them not to get too close, startled Harm. He had not noticed anything between him and his new partner to even deserve a comment like that. Trying to move past the past, he looked his new partner over.   
  
There was no question that she was a beautiful woman. He would have to be blind not to notice, but in her lay unhappiness and no satisfaction with her life. He wondered if she even wanted to be there. She was friendly enough towards him, but it was still very enclosed.  
  
Her eyes looked at him sadly. There was some kind of indecision in her. In a moment, he saw something before it was gone. He felt drawn towards her, and a want fulfilled him to get rid of that sadness and emptiness out of her eyes. The woman before him somehow called out to him for help, and he was going to do his best to answer that call.  
  
Harm knew one thing for sure, it was going to be interesting. Working with Bud, who was a very zealous man was going to be intriguing. The man had much to offer, but alot to learn. He seemed to always want to please everyone around him. His personality seemed just the opposite of Mac, who was more enclosed and mysterious. There was so much more to her then she allowed people to see. He followed her in the limo, and allowed his mind to think about the case before him. Time to think about the future was for the future.  
  
*************************************  
  
The Limo  
  
Road to Headquarters  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The unseen figure in the group, Peter Davis, watched Sarah as she relayed information about the stealing of the Declaration of Independence. She was not the same woman he left behind at the dock.  
  
That woman had been very happy. She had joy for life in her eyes as she said good-bye though they were filled with tears at their parting. He knew that she lived happily then, because she found the happiness she wanted so badly.  
  
He wondered if he alone caused her to be so closed off. Inside him, he knew the answer to that one. The pain of the truth caused him made him want to comfort her. He just had no ability to do so.   
  
In a quiet moment, he noticed Harm's watching Sarah. Looking in his eyes, Peter saw something akin to his own feelings of wanting to protect. Something about that made him angry and happy at the same time. He was happy, because through Harm he could protect Sarah only, but inside he wondered if something was going to happen between Harm and his Sarah.  
  
He watched as Harm and Sarah's eyes met, and he felt the chemistry between them that neither of them seemed to notice. His heart lurched at the acknowledgement. Silently, he prayed that no matter what happened, Harm would never break Sarah's heart. She may not be able to handle it.   
  
His job as protector of Harm's life became tenfold as important now. He had not only Harm and his family to protect from pain but now Sarah, and he would do it.  
  
TBC... (the rest of "We the People" next part) 


	5. There's a Rising Moon

I'll See You in My Dreams: There's A Rising Star 5/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: JAG doesn't belong to me.   
  
Spoilers: Pilot Error, We the People, and Jinx  
  
AN: To here the song go to http://www.dorisday.net/Young_at_Heart/Rising_Moon/rising_moon.html, and the song will start up right away. I hope everyone had a great holiday! Thanks for the feedback everyone, and thanks to Mac for betaing.   
  
~~ - dreams  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"There's A Rising Moon" by Paul Francis Webster and Sammy Fain  
  
Sung by Doris Day in "Young at Heart"  
  
So what, its raining. Won't help complaining, fundamental rules of nature still apply. Look up at the sky, there's a rising moon for every falling star. Makes no difference just how sad or blue you are. One never knows about tomorrow, just what another day may bring, one moment in your heart it's winter, comes a rose and suddenly it's spring. There'll be times of sorrow, there'll be times of joy, and a bright tomorrow for each girl and boy. Who knows what happiness is waiting just a kiss away from where you are, there's a rising moon for every falling star.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
JAG Headquarters  
  
Falls Church, VA  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac watched quietly at Harm's door as he worked on some paperwork. His eyebrows were furrowed together in frustration. She could tell the verdict had bothered and upset him. He had given his all into her uncle's court case. In the end, her uncle would be serving jail time for his crime of stealing the Declaration of Independence, but there was no charge of treason, which could have meant the death penalty.  
  
Her new partner had taken on her cause with no questions asked. From the first second, he knew it was her uncle he had been willing to risk everything to help her. Something she would never have expected or asked of him or anyone to help.   
  
Harm's head looked up as he felt the eyes watching him. He tried to give Mac a smile, but it seemed strained even to him. An answering smile was his gift in return, and he felt his mouth curve into a real smile.  
  
"I wanted to stop by, and thank you," said Mac, looking away for a moment. "You didn't have to help me or my uncle out. We were practically just strangers to you still."  
  
"I wish I could have done more. He was coerced into that position he was in by Webb himself."  
  
"It would have taken a miracle to get him off without punishment, and what he got I can be all right with, and I know my uncle is also. There's only so much you could do, and you went up and beyond that fighting with all your heart and mind. How about a working dinner tonight? I'll even pay for it."  
  
"You mean you aren't cooking?" He said with a glint in his eye.  
  
"I'm saving you from the pain, and a possible hospital trip. My food is an acquired taste, and so far I'm the only one that has acquired it."  
  
"Pizza then."  
  
"Be there at 7." With a smile, she left his office ready to get to work.  
  
*************************************  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
1907 Eastern   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm's knock came after his appointed time, but within his considered radius of time to be politely late. He looked wearily at the pizza that was sitting on the coffee table.  
  
"Don't worry Mr. Vegetarian, its half vegetarian special and half meat lovers. You should have seen the look I got from the man at the counter. He thought I was insane to order it. Next time I'm sending you to get it, or have it delivered," joked Mac.  
  
"Afraid of the pizza man? So un-Marine like of you."  
  
"Nah, just afraid for their safety if they try to lock me up in a nuthouse. I wouldn't be responsible for my actions."  
  
"And who would?"  
  
"You, of course. Now I'm starving and the pizza is getting cold. Lets eat."  
  
They set down to eat, silently agreeing that work could wait until they were done. Mac started to clean up as Harm made a walk around her living room checking it out. He was startled out of his thoughts by his recognition of one of the men in a picture.  
  
"I didn't know you knew Luke," said Harm when she walked up to him.  
  
"I barely knew him, but we had some mutual friends and I would see him once in awhile. Being an old married man even then stopped him from hanging out with the gang when he was home. Last thing I heard about him was his plane accident. I wasn't able to get away to go to the funeral. You worked his case, didn't you? Wasn't he a friend of yours?" Mac asked trying to take focus away from her past.  
  
"Yeah, we went to the academy and flight school together, but we were sent off to different squadrons. I didn't get to see him that often after that, but when I could I would spend time with him and his family." His mind slowly wandered back to those days investigating his friend's death. It was one of the most painful things he had gone through, and it was another tragic death in the squadron. From his own experience, he knew how hard it was for a squadron to lose someone. It was a reminder of how fragile their lives were, and it broke the companionship to have someone replace them.  
  
Mac watched as his expressions change as he slipped back into the past. "He was one of the good guys. I wish I had known him better."  
  
"He was, Mac, he was. The squadron has gone through a lot."  
  
"Just remember him in your heart, Harm. We can only hope that this will never happen again to them."  
  
"I hope they will continue to be all right since his death." Taking a moment to put his sad thoughts to rest, he changed the subject. "Come on there's work to do here."  
  
Once Harm left, Mac quickly got ready for bed and laid down hoping to rest. Their earlier conversation about Luke had stirred up memories of a past she tried to keeping hidden from even Harm.  
  
It was a connection between her and Harm's past, but it was something she couldn't even talk to Harm about. She was happy that Harm had gotten lost into his own memories, and not even inquired into the picture or her knowledge about Luke. She had never met his wife and child, and only met him on a few occasions that she went with Peter on to meet his flyboy friends. Not once had Harm been there.  
  
She didn't even understand her need for the secrecy. It wasn't like she didn't tell Harm about other painful memories, but something about this part of her history kept her wanting a secret.  
  
She fell into a restless sleep with nightmares haunting it from almost the first moment. They weren't nightmares of remembering the past, but of the future and she had no control over.  
  
~~ Mac could only sit back and watch as the planes flew overhead. From what she could see there was nothing wrong with them, but the sense of dread flowing through her was enough to know this was not going to be a safe flight for someone. Someone was going to die!  
  
One by one the airplanes came back for landing, but there was one missing. On the bridge, cries for mayday could be heard being sent. Then silence as the plane lost all contact.  
  
The search and rescue team was sent out to the last location hoping for survivors. There would only one survivor, Lt. Pete Ayers.~~  
  
************************************  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
A week or so later  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The phone ringing disturbed Mac's quiet Sunday laying on the couch reading. Slowly standing up to get the phone, she went and answered it.  
  
"Major Mackenzie."  
  
"Hello, major. Sorry for disturbing your Sunday, but I need you to reach your partner and head out to Miramar. Another pilot has died. All the files will be there waiting for you."  
  
"Sir, who was it?"  
  
"Lt. Tess McKee."  
  
Mac fell silent as she remembered Tess of years ago, and she realized it wasn't her that will be sadden by it.   
  
"Major?"  
  
"Sorry, sir. I believe the Commander is out flying with Bud. I will page Bud, and we'll get going as soon as possible."  
  
Hanging up, Mac quickly packed extra clothes for their trip, and instead of sending a quick message to Bud, she went out to Blacksburg to meet them. This was not news she could share over the phone, and Harm shouldn't have to be told in the middle of an airport. It was going to be a painful case for both of them.  
  
All packed up, she left for Blacksburg, and she hoped the drive would give her the words to tell Harm.  
  
TBC... 


	6. By Myself

"I'll See You in My Dreams: By Myself" part 6  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.  
  
Spoilers: JINX!  
  
Pairings: Mac/Other, Harm/Mac  
  
Feedback: Please, I have barely received any on the last two parts, and it makes it hard to want to write. Good or bad, I like to know either way. Thank you to all those that have sent feedback. I would love your opinion especially on the letter at the end. Thanks to Mac for betaing!  
  
~~ = flashback  
  
** = letter  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"By Myself" by Arthur Schwartz and Howard Dietz  
  
Sung by Fred Astaire in "The Band Wagon."  
  
The party's over, the game is ended, the dreams I dreamed went up in smoke. They didn't pan out as I had intended; I should know how to take a joke.  
  
I'll go my way by myself, this is the end of romance. I'll go my way by myself, love is only a dance. I'll try to apply myself and teach my heart to sing. I'll go my way by myself like a bird on the wing, I'll face the unknown, I'll build a world of my own; No one knows better than I, myself, I'm by myself alone. I'll go my way by myself, here's how the comedy ends. I'll have to deny myself love and laughter and friends. Grey clouds in sky above have put a blot on my fun. I'll try to fly high above for a place in the sun. I'll face the unknown, I'll build a world of my own; No one knows better than I, myself, I'm by myself alone.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Dante's Pizza  
  
Miramar, CA  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sarah Mackenzie watched the man sitting across from her. Harm has teased her about how she could gulp down food, but she had nothing on this man. She couldn't help, but let out the slight giggle from her mouth.  
  
"What's so funny?" Mike Connelly mocking anger, he asked her with his mouth full of food.  
  
"You. I must have gotten my eating skills from watching you. Harm should be here to watch you then he would never tease me again."  
  
"It's good pizza! I can't have it getting cold, because I took my time eating it."  
  
"Excuses, excuses!" Mac went back to eating. It was a working dinner of sorts tonight, but Mike couldn't let work get in his way of his favorite pizza.  
  
They took their time finishing eating, but once they were done Mac got straight to the point. She had called her old friend Mike before leaving Washington D.C. If anyone could get her the information needed on the mishap that killed Tess McGee, it was Mike. He had worked on and off with the flying group since before Desert Storm. She had met him not long after Peter and her had started dating.   
  
Mike and her went over the details of the Tess's accident. "Do you really think this is all a jinx over the crew?" asked Mac.  
  
"I never believed in jinxes, but nothing seems right about how many pilots we have lost since Desert Storm. Losing half the crew in the modern world of technology and science is way too many. We can't do anything to bring them back to life, but we need to figure out how to stop others from being killed."  
  
She took hold of his hand as they remembered their friends and Peter. Silence reigned over the table as their minds left the present.   
  
"Their is a theory that this has something to do with the bombing of a Muslim temple during Desert Storm. They have another holiday coming up, and some are even afraid to fly," said Mike.  
  
"Just because some have died on Muslim holidays, there are some that haven't. Peter didn't die on a holiday. It seems to me people are overreacting about that. Hopefully nothing will happen this holiday, and people will disclaim the theory."  
  
"Does the Commander believe in the curse? What does he know about Peter?"  
  
"I really don't how he feels about the curse theory. He hardly has opened up to me about it, though he might have talked to Annie about it. I can't find the courage to talk to him about Peter even if it might bringer us closer together. Its a connection between our pasts and now our present. For now there is no need for him to know, and I'm going to put all my energy into solving this case."  
  
"You're still in love with Peter?"  
  
"Very much so, and I doubt I will ever stop. Maybe one day I will find a man that I can love even half as much, and that I can spend my life with him. For now, I just live for my work and live a life alone."  
  
"Its not so bad of a way to live sometimes, but don't forget you do have people here who care about you. I bet the Commander does care too. I know very few men who would risk their jobs to help a woman who's uncle stole the Declaration of Independence after meeting her only hours before."  
  
"He does if he keeps seeing you as his dead love. I still wonder if he sees me as her only, and not who I really am."  
  
"She can't be that much like you."  
  
"From what I know, I look a lot like her, but we have different personalities."  
  
"Does it bother you?"  
  
"No, not really, most of the time. I think one day he'll get past it, and we can become closer friends."  
  
A clearing of the throat startled them from their conversation. Mac looked up into Harm's weary eyes.  
  
"Hi Harm, I would like you to meet Commander Mike Connelly, and Mike this is Commander Harmon Rabb." The men greeted each other cordially. "How did your interview go?" Mac asked Harm.  
  
"It went all right. I can't seem to get much out of the pilots. I can see yours was going well."  
  
"Mike's an old friend from when we were stationed together. I had called him to warn him about our coming to investigate, and he was nice enough to look some stuff up for us," said Mac.  
  
"I don't think I found anything useful. Only connecting factor is the Muslim holidays, but even that is not true of all the deaths in the squadron. It seems the best thing for this squadron would be to prove the jinx is false. With the holiday coming up there might be a chance for solving that problem," said Mike.  
  
Mac looked up at Harm, and saw the determination in his face to beat the jinx hanging like a noose over the squadron. She mentally grabbed hold of the ring that hung from her neck as she felt fear soaring through her for Harm's safety.  
  
************************************  
  
Harm and Peter's Airplane  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
There was no one more determined than Peter Davis to get rid of the feeling of Jinx hanging over his old squadron. Through the help of Harmon Rabb, Jr., he would make it happen. To him there was no other alternative choice for him to do. Not only had he to save the squadron, but to save Harm. He had a destiny to fulfill, and without his help he wasn't quite so sure Harm would survive.  
  
'Tomcats weren't made for three men," Peter thought as he rode out the unusually quiet ride. 'I can't even sit on the outside.'   
  
He watched as the canopy was broken from the impact, and the shout from the Lt. to eject startled him into action. There couldn't be an ejection tonight.   
  
Leaning over he used his best command voice to talk into Harm's ear. "Keep awake! This is no time to sleep on the job! You're not going to wimp out on this one!"  
  
He watched as Harm gained some control back to tell the Lt. not to eject. Harm's vision was impaired as he tried to read the controls in front of him to help him land the airplane. Peter started reading out loud all Harm needed to know.  
  
Peter could hear the thoughts in Harm's head as he tried to land the airplane.  
  
'This airplane is not going down! I will not have another crash landing!' His mind bringing images of that night that wasn't even 5 years ago now. He could almost feel the fire burning him once again as he tried to listen to the Lt.'s readings on his landing position.  
  
Before any realized it they had hit the deck. Not safe and sound but alive. Peter stood by as Harm was treated for the head injury.  
  
"It was not good luck, Mr. Rabb," said Peter to no one in particular.  
  
*************************************  
  
Mac's Room, BOQ  
  
That evening  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
** Dear Mr. and Mrs. Davis,  
  
That sounds so formal, but after all its been a very long time since we last talked to each other. I'm not even quite sure why I'm writing to you. You may have heard about the recent deaths of Peter's old squadron. My new partner, and I were on that case trying to solve why so many have died. There is no real answer but what fate had dealt us.  
  
I've only got to look at Harm, my partner who's an ex-fighter pilot, and realize all the consequences that these deaths have caused. He was best friends with Luke Pendry, and he knows his wife and son too.   
  
It might have been Harm's spending time with the Pendry family that made me realize just how important our family is to us. Over the years that I knew Peter before his death, you had allowed me into your lives as well. You welcomed me with open arms.   
  
Now I find myself on a new course in life. I'm still getting used to working with an ex-Seal, an ex-fighter pilot, and a mumbling hope to be lawyer. Already I have been accepted into the JAG family at Headquarters.  
  
I have gotten use to being a loner in the world. I've allowed myself to live through the memories of the times I spent with Peter instead of looking toward the future. One day I may find a real family, but for now I find myself with a different kind of family, a work family.   
  
I don't know how long I will be at JAG Headquarters, but I may come to cherish the time I've spent here.  
  
You are always in prayers each night.   
  
Love,  
  
Sarah **  
  
TBC... 


	7. Love, Look Away

"I'll See You in My Dreams: Love, Look Away" part 7  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing so don't sue me unless you want my wrecked car that will cost $2,000 to fix.  
  
Spoilers: Full Engagement, one of my favorites.  
  
AN: Harm and Mac interaction! Also if you have any missing scenes from episodes or favorite scenes with the characters thoughts you would like to see in this story please tell me, and I'll see if I can fit them in. If you want to listen to the instrumental of the song below go to http://dreamwater.org/jhall/music/lovelookaway.mid.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"Love, Look Away" by Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein II  
  
Sung by Reiko Sato in "Flower Drum Song," the only all Asian musical.  
  
I have wished before I shall wish no more Love, look away Love, look away from me Fly when you pass my door Fly and get lost at sea Call it a day Love, let us say we're through No good are you for me No good am I for you   
  
I have wished before I shall wish no more Love, look away Love, look away from me Fly when you pass my door Fly and get lost at sea Call it a day Love, let us say we're through No good are you for me No good am I for you BRIDGE Wanting you so I try too much After you go I cry too much Love, look away Lonely though I may be Leave me and set me free Look away, look away, look away from me Look away, look away, look away from me  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
JAG HQ - Mac's Office  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm stood silently watching his partner sitting at her desk. He liked watching her when she didn't know anyone was watching. It was at these times Harm could see more clearly how she was feeling, and today was no exception to the rule. Looking closely he could see dark circles forming under her eyes, and from the way she rubbed her forehead he guessed a headache was coming on.  
  
It wasn't until Mac leaned back in her chair and stretched, she realized she wasn't alone. "Hey Harm, can I help you with something? Just don't tell me the Admiral has another case for us to work on."  
  
"Actually I came to give you an invite to play hooky tomorrow with me. Neither one of us has any meetings tomorrow, and after all the hard work we've done lately I say we deserve it."  
  
"Isn't the Admiral going to get suspicious if we both call in sick?"  
  
Harm's face lights up with a big flyboy grin as he gets an idea. "Not if one of us asks tonight if they could take a personal day tomorrow. Then I call in tomorrow sick that way it doesn't look like we are doing it together."  
  
"I see, you're afraid to face the Admiral yourself, and you need the Marines to come to the rescue."  
  
"No, the Admiral would know something is up if I ask for a personal day. He trusts you," Harm protested.  
  
"I wonder why that is, hmm, could it be from your shooting bullets in a ceiling, or..."  
  
"Mac! Do you want to go or not?"  
  
Mac finally let her smile break through. She loved teasing this ex-pilot/lawyer. "Yes, when, where?"  
  
Harm knew she should have kept watch for that little sparkle in her eye. It was a total giveaway for when she was playing with him. He gave her the details, and finished with, "Now go use those superior Marine lawyer skills of yours to convince the Admiral for the day off."  
  
***********************************  
  
Next day  
  
Appalachian Mountains  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She could feel prickles of tears waiting to explode in her eyes and down her cheeks, but she wouldn't let them fall. Tears were sign of weakness, and she would not allow the man in front of her to see her that way. He was slowly becoming her best friend, but she never wanted him to see the other half of her. A woman who only knew pain and sorrow in her life after Peter's death until she came to JAG HQ. Tears were for nights alone lying wide awake remembering.  
  
He was kneeling down in front of her, staring at her like he could see right through her. There was pain in those eyes, but not from physical pain. It was from the pain of knowing someone you cared about was in worse pain. If she looked beyond that pain, she could see other feelings shadowing his eyes. One, some kind of guilt, and the second, she could not put a name to it. Giving name would force her to realize something that she was not ready to accept from him or any other man.  
  
She knew words were being passed between them, and soon she found herself being lifted up again. It was time to find safety so they could rest, and start again fresh tomorrow. That night she told Harm more then she had told anyone else about her past, except for Peter. She didn't know why she did, but sitting there smoking a cigar with him allowed her past to come forth.  
  
There was so much more to tell, but she kept it to herself. Maybe one day she could tell her whole story without the fear of what his reaction would be.  
  
'One day,' she thought as sleep overcame her.  
  
************************************  
  
Next Morning  
  
Same Place  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'I can testify to the harshness of a Marine boot camp, but now as I walk alongside Harmon Rabb, Jr. I realize that was nothing compared to the here and now. He allows me moments to break, but the man is driving me along the path back to his precious airplane.  
  
I know, I know how important it is we get their fast, but come on a woman in pain here. I can just feel that blood trickling down my leg. Oh look, a stream up ahead between those trees. You know, what a restful place that looks right now. Just drop me off there, Harm, so I can take a little nap.   
  
AUGH! That man had to be sweet, and promised me that he would get me out of here. I fell for it. How can I blame him for all of this if he does that? Logically, he's not all to blame. Harm's not listening to me once again as I try to stay back and let him go.   
  
There's the Harm I know, with his digging at me to get me to keep following. I'm coming, and you'll be paying for that comment mister when I'm well enough to kick you. Somehow we make it to the airplane, and we are flying.  
  
Did I just ask him about his Sarah? Blame this all on the injury people. I feel the airplane bump as it hits the ground. Now I can feel myself being lowered, and put on a stretcher. Its sleepy bed time now.  
  
Good night, all.' With that last thought, Sarah Mackenzie fell unconscious.  
  
TBC... (next part, the scenes after Full Engagement) 


	8. I've Got You Under My Skin

"I'll See You in My Dreams - I've Got You Under My Skin"  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Spoilers: Full Engagement  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own JAG. Never did and never will.  
  
Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! Please keep reviewing! Just a warning I will be going back and forth between this story, and a story for CSI, so if you're a CSI fan check it out on fanfiction.net or send an email. Thanks again to Mac for betaing.  
  
~~ = dreams  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"I've Got You Under My Skin" by Cole Porter  
  
Sung by Virginia Bruce in "Born to Dance"  
  
I've got you under my skin  
  
I've got you deep in the heart of me  
  
So deep in my heart, that you're really a part of me  
  
I've got you under my skin  
  
I've tried so hard not to give in  
  
I've said to myself this affair will never go so well  
  
But why should I try to resist, when baby will I know so well  
  
That I've got you under my skin  
  
I'd sacrifice anything come what might  
  
For the sake of having you near  
  
In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night  
  
And repeats, repeats in my ear  
  
Don't you know little fool, you never can win  
  
Use your mentality, wake up to reality  
  
I've got you under my skin  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
Waiting Room  
  
Bethesda Hospital  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bud Roberts looked at the man before him. He was sitting in one of those hard uncomfortable chairs, and his face was buried in his hands. The tension in the shoulders was obvious even from the doorway.  
  
"Sir? Commander?" he called out.  
  
Slowly, Harm brought up his head, hoping that the voice was a doctor bringing him news. Bud stood nervously before him waiting for his answer. "Bud, call me Harm. I'm betting the Admiral has or will be sending out the MPs any moment."  
  
"I doubt it, sir. He sent me to keep you company while you waited for news on the Major. He's planning to come as soon as he's done with a meeting. Is there any news?"  
  
"Not yet. The wound isn't life threatening, but she lost so much blood. I'm amazed she made it as far as she did before passing out. All I wanted to do was enjoy some time with her flying. Maybe she could have loved it as much as I do. I'll be lucky if she would ever get near another plane with me. First, we had to make an emergency landing, then ran into poachers who shot her, and if that wasn't enough one tried to attack her when I left her alone and she had to kill him. No, I'll be lucky if she wants to ever come near me." Harm was aware of his babbling, but he couldn't help it. He needed it off his chest to try to ease the pain there.  
  
"I doubt the Major will blame you for anything. She's going to be fine, Sir," Bud wanted to say so much more, but though he considered Harm a friend there was still rank to consider. He didn't want to overstep his bounds.  
  
"My brain is telling me she's fine, but my heart is disagreeing." Harm looked around, and stood up to start pacing. "Why won't the doctors tell me anything?"  
  
***********************************  
  
Mac's Room  
  
Same time  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
~~ After being in this dream state for one hour and 22 min., Mac decided she enjoyed this situation. There was no more pain, and the world around her forgotten as she allowed her mind to wonder.  
  
She allowed her mind to wander into the past to the days where she had never been happier. The days where she knew that she was loved, and had dreams filled with a future of a house and kids. Those days had long since passed, but she could still picture the scenes her mind had dreamt up so long ago.   
  
She could still walk up the path that led to her home, and there would be Peter Jr. and Nicole running to the door to greet her. Her children had the flyboy smile from their father.  
  
It was amazing that love could make her a dreamer.  
  
As she looked up the stairs, she saw his form looking down upon her with a full blown flyboy smile. The love in those eyes was unmistakable. Her heart still skipped a beat when she saw him. Life was perfect in this dream world. ~~  
  
************************************  
  
Waiting Room  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Admiral Chegwidden walked into the waiting room to find Harm pacing the floor and Bud just seemed lost. From Harm's pacing, the Admiral knew that there still had not been any news. Clearing his throat loudly, he watched the men come to attention in front of him.  
  
"Commander, any news on the Major?" Admiral asked.  
  
"No, sir. I've tried to go to the nurse's desk, but they had nothing to give me. Sir?"  
  
"Harm, your only concern right now should be about Mac. We'll deal with your skipping work when she is better."  
  
"Thank you, sir. I'm sorry, we played hooky."  
  
"Leave it alone, Commander. Now I'm going to do my best, and use Admiral privilege to hopefully find out something about the Major. Excuse me."  
  
************************************  
  
Mac's Room  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
~~ She watched happily as he came towards her. All she wanted was those surrounding her once more, but he stopped before he did.  
  
"Sarah, come sit down with me on the couch. I have something very important to tell you."  
  
"Peter, what is it?"  
  
"You can't live in this dream world any longer. You have a place in the real world, and there are people waiting anxiously for you to come back."  
  
"I rather stay here with you."  
  
"You, my dear Sarah, don't belong here. No matter how much I would love you near me, you have a destiny to fulfill. Out there is a man who's going to love you as much as I do, and he's going to provide you will new set of dreams. Give him a chance, and never throw him out. He needs you as much as you need him."  
  
"But..."  
  
"No. He'll come running whenever you call his name." With a loving kiss, she moved back into the real world with one word on her lips. ~~  
  
"HARM!"  
  
Harm rushed into the room when he heard her voice call his name. The nurses had just given him permission to visit her. Sitting down, he took her hand and said, "I'm right here. You're going to be just fine."  
  
At that Sarah Mackenzie smiled. In weeks ahead, he would protect a princess, and while they were dancing, he would tell her he didn't think of her as a sister. Then wound up working a case in Cuba. There she would almost kiss him, but as she left his room she came to a realization that Harm was engrained into her heart.  
  
TBC... 


	9. Three Little Words

"I'll See You in My Dreams - Three Little Words"  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Rendezvous, Second Sight, basically any episode that mentions Mac's childhood.  
  
Author's Note: Thanks to my one reviewer for reminding there are people who love the story!   
  
WARNING: This chapter deals with domestic violence. There is not much written about the violence, but the reaction of Mac and some of her mother is written.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"Three Little Words" by Harry Ruby and Bert Lalmar  
  
Sung by Fred Astaire in "Three Little Words"  
  
Three little words, Oh, what I'd give for that wonderful phrase To hear those three little words That's all I'd live for the rest of my days. And what I feel in heart they tell sincerely, No other words can tell it half so clearly. Three little words, eight little letters Which simply means I love you  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Harm's Apartment  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm heard the knock at the door at the exact moment Mac was supposed to arrive. That used to surprise him how she always came at the exact moment, but over time he had gotten used to it. Continually asking 'how do you do that?' wasn't getting him anywhere near an answer.  
  
As soon as he opened the door, he noted the strain in Mac's whole appearance. If he had to guess, he would say she was getting no sleep and might have lost a little weight. Tonight he was going to find out what was going on. He thought the end of their case with her physically abusive husband had brought to conclusion the feelings Mac had to deal with in that case but maybe not.  
  
He flashed her his flyboy smile as he let her in. Reaching to help her take off her coat, he watched as she shrank away from his touch. "Mac, can I help you with your coat?" he asked, skirting away from the real question he wanted to ask.  
  
"Aww, no thanks, Harm. I'm a Marine, I think I can handle it on my own. What is that I smell cooking? At least it doesn't smell like your meatless meatloaf."  
  
"Haha, Marine. I wouldn't do that to my jarhead again. The thought of what you would do to me sends shivers down my back."  
  
"Your jarhead? You're lucky I like the smell of that cooking so I won't harm you for that one."  
  
"Very funny, now go sit down at the table while I finish the food." He watched her sit down in her usual chair watching his every move.  
  
As the dinner progressed the banter kept going, but to Harm it seemed empty. Her answers were as sharp as usual, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes and the tone seemed almost dull.  
  
He finally gave up pretense when they went to sit down on the couch. "Mac, you know you can tell me anything, right?"  
  
"Of course, Harm."  
  
"Then try to tell me what's wrong, so I can help you."  
  
"I..I can't Harm. I wish I could, but I just can't. Just give me time, and I'll get over it."  
  
"If its bothering you this much maybe it will help to let it out."  
  
"Maybe one day, Harm, but its not tonight or anytime soon. I should get going. Night Harm."  
  
He hesitated wanting to say more, but gave up for now, "Night Mac, and get some sleep."  
  
"I will, night."  
  
************************************  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac barely could keep her eyes open on the road home from Harm's. She was completely exhausted. Her whole body was aching from the tension within her, and she wished that she could take at least one full breath.  
  
Tonight she hoped would be a dreamless sleep. Her mind had been torturing her with past memories of growing up with an alcoholic, abusive father. He may never have hit her, but each blow her mother received had taken a blow at her heart. It was her only her will to beat the odds that had brought her this far.  
  
As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was asleep, but her hopes of dreamless sleep were shattered as she reached REM. This time it didn't start with the usual sound of fist hitting bones, but one simple question. A question that would haunt her in all her future relationships with men.  
  
~~ Do you love me?" Little Sarah Mackenzie asked of her father, while tugging on his shirt. Her eyes wide with hope that he would tell her he did love her. She wanted to hear those words so badly, but once again her hopes were crushed as he turned on her. His arm barely missing her as it swung around. She didn't know if it was meant to hit her or not, but his anger was beaming at her.  
  
The gleam in his eyes that she saw so many times turned on her mother just before he hit her was directed at her now. Unconsciously she took a step back, and loosing footage she fell to the ground.  
  
He finally spoke to her, "Get up you, clumsy little brat. Never tug on my shirt again. Do you hear me?  
  
"But Daddy..." That was all she could get out before her mother came up to them.  
  
"Joe, leave her alone. All she wanted to know was do you love her. She didn't mean any harm," her mother said soothingly.  
  
Her mother's words didn't sooth the temper of Joe Mackenzie. It only enraged him more as he turned to his wife. It was then Sarah realized her mistake. Her father would take out his anger on her mother.  
  
She watched his arm swing around almost as if in slow motion. She cried out, but she watched as the punch came down upon her mother.  
  
She heard her mother cry for her to go up to her room. As quick as her legs could take her, she ran up the stairs. She ran towards safety from her father's anger, and her mother's pain and crying.  
  
Opening the closet door in her room, she entered. There she kept a pillow and her blankie. She had lost count the amount of times she had fallen asleep in the closet waiting for the quiet downstairs.  
  
Crouching in the furthest corner, she covered herself with the blanket. Her mind was screaming at her, 'It's your fault, your fault, your fault.' Her mother was downstairs being beat, because all she wanted to know was if her dad loved her.  
  
The tears were streaming down her face now. She could hear every sound coming from down there. Every bang sent her body into almost convulsions as she listened.   
  
"Lord, if you're up there, please, take me away from here. Mom and Dad could be happy if I wasn't here. I don't want Mom to get hit anymore. It's all my fault."  
  
It was then she came up with an idea. She would run away. No one would miss her if she wasn't there. There would be no one looking for her, but her parents would be so happy. Getting up, she packed some things into her backpack, escaped out her window, and down the fire escape.   
  
"Bye Mom and Dad," she whispered as she headed down the road. She didn't know where she was going, but it didn't matter. Walking and walking down roads until she didn't know where she was any longer.   
  
She saw a park up ahead, and decided to rest there for the night. Her little legs were tired from her long walk. Finding a tunnel in the playground, she laid down in it, and took out her blankie to cover herself up. Soon the long night and walk caught up with her as she fell asleep.  
  
She was rudely awakened from her sleep.   
  
"What are you doing sleeping here? You should be home with your parents," said the policeman.  
  
"I...I can't go home. Mom and Dad don't want me."  
  
"That's nonsense. Your parents love you. I'll take you back home. Where do you live?"  
  
Sarah shook her head wildly. "No, I can't go back there. Don't make me."  
  
"If you aren't going to tell me, I'm taking you back to the police station. I'll find out where you belong."  
  
He took hold of her hand, and walked with her to the police station. There she was recognized by a policeman.  
  
Once home again, she convinced the policeman to let her walk up alone. She went up the fire escape to her room. The next morning, her parents never knew she had left. All Sarah Mackenzie felt was defeated. Her only chance of bringing happiness to her parents was gone. ~~  
  
Mac woke up with tears streaming down her face. She didn't know how many more nights she could take of her dreams. All she wanted was peace, but her life seemed to keep her from it.  
  
It was then she took to heart a contrived meaning from the dream. Running away from problems never worked. She had to face them straight on, and that's what she was going to do.  
  
No longer would she let her dreams ruin her nights and days. She had a job and now a partner that was becoming more her best friend every day. That was now her purpose to make sure others are happy, and forget her own past and her own fears and tears.  
  
TBC... 


	10. I Couldn't Sleep a Wink Last Night

"I'll See You in My Dreams: I Couldn't Sleep A Wink Last Night"  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Spoilers: The Good of the Service, Mr. Rabb Goes to Washington, and People vs. Mac.  
  
Disclaimer: Anyone want to buy me the present of JAG? Otherwise I don't own it.  
  
AN: This features a much more in character John Farrow then the one we saw last Friday in the 200th episode, but a different look into his and Mac's past. Thank you again for the reviews! I also want to warn you I leave for England on Friday so I won't be able to post once again until about 3 weeks from now, but I would love to come back to inbox full of reviews. ENJOY!  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
"I Couldn't Sleep a Wink Last Night" by Jimmy McHugh and Harold Adamson  
  
Sung by Frank Sinatra in "Higher and Higher."  
  
I couldn't sleep a wink last night Because we had that silly fight I thought my heart would break the whole night through I knew that you'd be sorry, and I'm sorry, too I didn't have my favorite dream The one in which I hold you tight I had to call you up this morning To see if everything was still all right Yes, I had to call you up this morning 'cause I couldn't sleep a wink last night I couldn't sleep a wink last night Because we had that silly fight I thought my heart would break the whole night through I knew that you'd be sorry, and I'm sorry, too I didn't have my favorite dream The one in which I hold you tight I had to call you up this morning To see if everything was still all right Yes, I had to call you up this morning 'cause I couldn't sleep a wink last night   
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
Aboard Ship  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sarah Mackenzie watched the sun go down over the horizon. The ocean shining with little crystals from the sun. She couldn't deny it was one of the most beautiful sights she ever seen.  
  
Tonight, she hated being on the ship. The sunset couldn't take away the feelings inside of her. Harm didn't have any faith in her ability to keep personal feelings out of a case, and then the feelings of being near a man who was part of her past. A part of her past she was not proud of and would someday come back and bite her.  
  
Shaking his hand after all these years had sent shivers down her back. Those moments of their one night together in Okinawa had flashed before her eyes. It had come after a night of horror and near death.  
  
The opening of the door to Vulture's Row startled her out of her thoughts. She almost expected Harm there to tell her that they would be taking off in the morning on the COD, but it wasn't. It was the one man she was afraid to face. John Farrow!  
  
"Hello, sir." Mac tried to soothe her voice so that it sounded professional, but she was a lawyer not an actress.  
  
"Mac, we are alone. Please call me John."  
  
"I need to keep this strict by the rules. When Harm and I go back there will be charges brought up against you."  
  
"Then let me be personal. This was the last way I expected to be seeing you, Mac. You've haunted my dreams for years, but we both know we can't gain that time back again. I won't ever regret that one night we spent together."  
  
Mac looked down at her feet. "What we did was wrong, but we both needed it. To confirm life after coming so close to death. I think I need to thank you. During my time under your command, you showed me that I could live once again. When I lost someone so close to me, I felt that every day was just another day until I would see him again. Your faith and friendship in me gave me a will to live for every day, and enjoy the time that we have here on earth. Thank you, Colonel."  
  
"You'll find you can love again too, Mac. Just give it time. We weren't meant to be anything more than friends."  
  
"Good friends. Thank you." With that Farrow walked away not for the last time, but the future was still an open book.  
  
When she came to JAG, she had expected nothing but a job. A living of sorts for the military. Once again though she found what she had under Farrow, a place where she had friends that cared about her and had faith in her.  
  
Until now. She didn't know what she had done to lose Harm's faith, but she had done it. He had gone behind her back in investigating the case. Leaving her out of almost everything.  
  
  
  
Buried in her thoughts, she didn't hear the door once again whisk open. "Mac," said above the noise of the water below.  
  
"Hey, Harm. Didn't hear you come out." She could feel the strain of a smile on her face.   
  
"What were you and Farrow talking about?"  
  
"Right to the point. Trying to find out if we were doing something to compromise our case? I can hardly believe you let me be alone all this time when I could happen to go see Farrow."  
  
"Something's going on between you too, and I don't want you to foul up our case."  
  
"Oh thank you for the confidence. You want to know what's between me and Farrow? I'll tell you."  
  
"Maaaaaaaaaaac, you're right I should have more faith in you."  
  
"No, I think you need to hear it. It was a beautiful clear evening, and Farrow had invited me to celebrate my getting nominated into law school. It was like a dream coming true for me, and I had hardly been able to keep sitting down.  
  
We were sitting in a restaurant that caters to the military personnel in Okinawa. We were both just sitting talking about the future, and what it holds for us. When...when there was an explosion from the kitchen. We had been seated near the kitchen. I remember laying at least 10 feet from where I had once sat.  
  
There were bodies laying all around me. Some alive and some dead. I could feel blood flowing down my body as I got up. I went over to where I had once been laying throwing debris away. His body was covered with pieces of wood, metal, you name it.  
  
I had to uncover him. His blood was spurting out of a hole in his stomach. He was dying. Ignoring the pain in every inch of my body, I freed him from the weight. I still don't know to this day how, but I picked him up and carried him out.   
  
He would have died in there, Harm, if I hadn't found that strength to pull and carry him out. Its a night that still haunts my dreams. End of story. Now you know what is between Farrow and I."  
  
She stormed off back into the ship. Not letting Harm react to her words or her story. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. He wanted to know their history, and she told him. It wasn't the whole story, but she told what was important.  
  
*************************************  
  
Day After Trial  
  
Harm's Office  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm sat down in his chair with a little smile on his face. The tension of the investigation and court had caused a rift between him and Mac, and honestly he hated it. It was like having a piece of you cut out.  
  
This morning, he got the courage he needed to call her, and he invited her to go jogging with him. She had readily agreed as long as he didn't get hit by any cars and plan on visiting a hospital full of terrorists.  
  
That was one promise, he planned to keep. His nights lately had him at his desk working to prove his case, because he knew that if he went to sleep the dreams would not be his favorite one. The one where he got to hold her once again like they did while running from the poachers. He enjoyed that feeling!  
  
His dreams were of losing Mac. She was slowly walking away from him, because of his hostility towards Farrow and his mistrust in her. After the first night of that he kept from sleeping until his body forced him into a deep slumber.  
  
Now, she had smiled upon him when she walked by his office. On his desk sat a little present for her. Nothing much, but a token of his appreciation. Seeing her come back from a meeting, he went to her office hiding the flower behind his back.  
  
"Hey Harm, you up for lunch?" asked Mac as he walked in.  
  
"With you, always." He gave her his flyboy smile.  
  
"How about in half an hour you come and get me?"  
  
"Sounds good, and before I forget this is for you." He took from behind his back, and handed it over.  
  
"A rose! Harm, you didn't have to do that. I have forgiven you already."  
  
"I know, but thanks Harm." He watched as she gave him her own special Jarhead smile. Right there and then he knew he would never get enough of it.  
  
With a little wave, he walked out, never loosing the smile. He had his Mac back.  
  
TBC... 


	11. I Wish I Knew

"I'll See You in My Dreams: I Wish I Knew" 11/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own JAG nor the movie.  
  
Spoilers: Dalton story arc  
  
AN: Thank you all for the reviews! I'm finally writing the next part of this story. 11 parts is a milestone for me. I hope you keep enjoying each new part. All previous parts can be found at and click on the story name.   
  
Feedback: Please send it! Tomorrow's my birthday, and it's a cheap, but a much loved present.  
  
"I Wish I Knew" by Harry Warren and Mack Gordon  
  
Sung by Dick Haymes in "Diamond Horseshoe."  
  
Is this the night I've waited, oh, so long for?  
  
Is this my dream at last come true?  
  
Are you the one my heart saved its song for?  
  
How can I tell?  
  
I wish I knew;  
  
I wish I knew someone like you could love me  
  
I wish I knew you   
  
place no one above me;  
  
Did I mistake this for a real romance?  
  
I wish I knew, but only you can answer.  
  
If you don't care, why let me hope and pray so.  
  
Don't lead me on, if I'm a fool, just say so.  
  
Should I keep dreaming on or just forget you?  
  
What shall I do?  
  
I wish I knew.  
  
JAG HQ  
  
'How did she always end up with all the paperwork?' Mac wondered to herself as she headed down the hallway. Her arms were full of files that needed to be looked at, and she couldn't see anything beyond the files she was carrying.   
  
This should have been a sign for danger, but one man took little notice to what was going on around him. He was in a hurry to find someone's office, and he had no patience for the others that were blocking his way.  
  
Almost as if in slow motion they inched towards each other, and with a baited breath from those around them, disaster hit. Files were flying in every direction, while legs, arms, and other body parts went flying through the air. For a moment silence reigned on the people in the hallway as they waited for some action from the two people laying on the floor.  
  
Slowly the two people sat up, and looked at each other. If people weren't already surprised, they were even more when the marine started to laugh. The audience slowly walked away from them as the two sat there laughing at the situation before them.  
  
The man stood up first, and offered Mac his hand helping her up. She looked around at the mess on the floor, and wondered how she was ever going to put this back in order.  
  
"I think you saved me from a boring day of paperwork, Mr..." said Mac.  
  
"Lowne, Dalton Lowne. You can call me Dalton. I'm sorry about the mess," he said giving her his best smile.  
  
"You better be planning to help me clean this up." Mac smiled back.  
  
"As long as you help me try to find the office I was looking for."  
  
"That's a deal. Now lets get to work before we have another disaster hit as people come running down the hall."  
  
Finally the papers were all picked up with no more disasters, and Dalton helped her bring it to her office.  
  
"I have a meeting to get to that I'm already very late for, but what would you say to letting me take you to lunch when I'm finished?" asked Dalton.  
  
"I would love to. Now let me show you where to go."  
  
JAG HQ  
  
2 weeks later  
  
Mac sat back in her chair just enjoying the moment of quiet. After all the investigation work going on lately, she was happy to sit back and do paperwork. Tonight she had big plans with Dalton so she wanted to get all the work done before she left.  
  
The knock on the door brought her out of her daydreaming mode, and she smiled when Harm walked in.  
  
"Needed a break from the paperwork?" asked Mac.  
  
"You know how much I hate doing paperwork. I thought my eyes were going to go cross eyed permanently if I stared at it any longer. I was wondering if you had any plans tonight. I thought we could order in a pizza, and watch a movie together."  
  
"Can't, but can I have a rain check? Dalton is taking me out tonight to La Tours. How about on Saturday we get together?"  
  
"You must be getting pretty serious if he's taking you to La Tours when you've known each other for all of two weeks."  
  
"He can afford it, Harm. Plus, I've been gone most of that time so I haven't had much chance to spend time with him. He probably just wants to do something special for me."  
  
"He wouldn't be trying to sell you into joining his law firm? A little romanticizing and big bucks can woo almost any girl."  
  
"I don't get wooed that easily. Can't a guy just be interested in me and me alone? Am I that bad of a catch?"  
  
"Of course not, but its an added bonus for him. A beautiful lady on his arm, and be able to show her off to all his big league friends."  
  
"Before you put your foot any deeper in your mouth, I like being here at JAG, and I have no plans of leaving JAG anytime soon. I'm interested in the man not who he works for."  
  
"Just remember I get to fly Tomcats."  
  
"I'm not planning to forget that anytime soon. No matter what happens, Harm, you are still my best friend. I'm not in love with Dalton, and I probably will never be in love with him. It's just nice to have a guy pamper over you once in awhile. Its been a long time since any guy showed me that kind of interest. To use an old cliche, he makes me feel like a woman."  
  
"There's nothing wrong with that. I just don't want to lose you, Mac."  
  
"You won't lose me. Now I'm excited to spend Saturday with you. Go finish your paperwork."  
  
"Me too. I'm leaving now."  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
That evening  
  
Mac opened the door of her apartment, and turned around to face Dalton. She was expecting just to say good night, but he walked into her apartment before she could say anything.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about something, Mac," said Dalton.  
  
"It's getting late. I need to get up early tomorrow for work. Why didn't you bring this up at dinner?"  
  
"I don't mix business with pleasure, though I could think of some pleasure that could come from it."  
  
"Dalton, if this is about me coming to work at your law firm. Don't waste your breath. I don't want to leave JAG or the Marine Corps."  
  
"There is an opening at our law firm that could be open to fast track to partnership in a couple of years. You will be paid the big money, and be able to work on important cases. There will be no more drunk and disorderly cases of sailors. We're already working on a case that will be going up in front of the U.S. Supreme Court. With your experience at JAG and at the law firm, one day you could become a judge if you want. There is so much more potential for you out of the military."  
  
"The Marine Corps may not pay as well, but it has a lot of benefits, Dalton. I'm not going to give it up for some extreme pay and maybes. What if we don't work out? Then I would be stuck working with you when we had broken up."  
  
"You are planning on this not working out already? This isn't about Harm?"  
  
"It's too early to tell that it would work out, and it has nothing to do with Harm. It has to do with my wants and needs. Doesn't that count most of all?"  
  
"Just give us a chance to convince you. You can't make a judgment on something you've never even seen what it's like. Just let me make you an appointment to meet with the other partners."  
  
"Fine, go ahead, but don't expect it to go the way you want it to. Now let me get some sleep."  
  
"Good night, and I'll call you tomorrow about the appointment." He was out the door before she could say anything more.  
  
She stood staring at the door for awhile. She couldn't quite believe she had accepted the meeting, but all she had wanted to do was go to bed. Once she said no then he would have to stop bothering her about it.  
  
Slowly taking off her shoes, she went to get ready for bed. Her future was in question right now, and she didn't want to think about what it would bring.  
  
TBC... 


	12. What'll I Do

"I'll See You in My Dreams: What'll I Do" 12/?  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: Like always, I don't own JAG or the song.  
  
Spoilers: Impact, People vs. Rabb  
  
AN: I want to thank all of you for the reviews and the happy birthday wishes. I had a wonderful birthday spent with friends.  
  
"What'll I Do" by Irving Berlin  
  
Sung by Danny Thomas in "Big City"  
  
What'll I do? When you are far away And I am blue What'll I do?   
  
What'll I do? When I am wond'ring who Is kissing you What'll I do?   
  
What'll I do with just a photograph To tell my troubles to?   
  
When I'm alone With only dreams of you That won't come true What'll I do?   
  
What'll I do with just a photograph To tell my troubles to?   
  
When I'm alone With only dreams of you That won't come true What'll I do?   
  
JAG HQ  
  
"Sir, is scuttlebutt right about the Major?" asked Bud, walking into Harm's office.  
  
Harm looked up at him startled. He had done everything to ignore the rumors going around the office that Mac had made an appointment with Lowne's firm. Nobody wanted to believe it, but many including him had seen it coming. "She hasn't said anything to me, Bud. If she wants us to know, she'll let us know."  
  
"She's leaving JAG, isn't she?"  
  
"Mac will do what she thinks is best for her. If she really wants to go into civilian world then we can't stop her. I'll talk to her, and see if she'll tell me what's going on."  
  
"Yes, sir." Bud left not feeling much better.  
  
Harm got up from his seat. It was time to face Mac, and find out the truth about the scuttlebutt going around.  
  
He tapped his knuckles against her open door and entered her office. Part of him feared the truth, and another part wanted her to prove everyone in the office wrong. Logically he knew she wouldn't be far away, but he had learned to depend on their partnership and friendship. He wasn't sure if he could stand losing the partnership.  
  
She called entered without looking up. He cleared his throat to get her attention to him. Looking out in the bullpen, he decided he didn't want to do this conversation in here.  
  
"How about taking a 15 minute break with me outside?" Harm asked.  
  
A questioning look crossed her face, but she nodded her head in agreement. Setting down her file, she grabbed her cover, and they headed outside.  
  
"Harm, is there something on your mind?" Mac asked when they had sat down at a table.  
  
"There's a rumor going around that a certain marine has a meeting with a civilian law firm. I want to hear from the source if it is true or not."  
  
"For once, the rumor mill is telling the truth. It was an agreement with Dalton to do it. If I don't want to join, I don't have to, but I agree that I should keep my options open on what my future is in law."  
  
"Are you seriously thinking about leaving?"  
  
"Not really, but I'm considering it. I know what I'll be getting into when joining a law firm, but I know I love serving my country. It's an easy choice at times, but when I consider everything I realize its not that easy. There are things I do in the civilian world that I can't do in the military. Not only can I argue the law, but I can change law."  
  
"Sounds to me you already have made your choice."  
  
"We both know what the strengths of staying in the military. I don't need to defend something that we both know instinctively. I'll be leaving behind my friends, there will never be anymore investigations, and worst thing I'll be leaving behind is our partnership."  
  
"I don't want to lose that either, Mac. I just want what makes you happy. The rest of us should not be taken into consideration."  
  
"How can I not? I have Dalton at the law firm, and no one else there. I still have Dalton in my life, and my friends here when I stay at JAG."  
  
"After your appointment, you'll have to make your choice. Is it serious between you and Dalton?"  
  
"I care about Dalton, but no its not like I'm going to marry him one day. Its been a long time since a guy has spent time trying to make me feel special. A nice feeling to have for awhile. We need to head back to work, is there anything else you want to know?"  
  
"Will you talk to me when you make the decision to leave?"  
  
"You honestly believe that I'm going to leave JAG, don't you? Haven't you listened to anything I said?"  
  
"I can't blame you if you did. Who wouldn't want all those things money can provide? You said it yourself, you can change things in the civilian world."  
  
"Yes there are nice things about the civilian world, but that doesn't mean I'll chose it." She got up, and went back into the building.  
  
Grumpily, he whispered, "She's going to leave."  
  
JAG HQ  
  
A Week Later  
  
Mac slammed down the pile of paperwork she had just been handed off. While Harm was off on a marine base, she was stuck here at headquarters doing work that ensign was usually assigned. It didn't even take a lawyer to do some of it.   
  
Mac was pissed at the punishment she was receiving from the Admiral, not for what she did, but for thinking of doing something. 'Innocent until proven guilty means nothing to the Admiral,' Mac thought to herself.  
  
'If he really didn't want me here, all he had to do was transfer me. If this keeps going I will take up that offer tomorrow. Why be where I'm not wanted?'  
  
Two days later things showed no improvement. There had been another investigation assigned, but it went to other lawyers. When they left, they were told to leave Mac all the paperwork.  
  
Mac sat in her office once again looking down at all the paperwork handed her. She took out the envelope that held her job offer and wages from Dalton's law firm. They were offering her not only money, but a chance to work on their newest case that was going to the Supreme Court. If won could change laws.  
  
She quickly put it away. She wasn't quite ready to give up on JAG, but part of her felt like she was being pushed out the door. Not only Admiral's assignments for her, but like Harm had told her they were all mad at her.  
  
By the time, Harm and Bud had made it back from their investigation. She had made the choice of what she was going to do. It was going to be the hardest thing to do, but she couldn't take the situation there any longer. Her happiest moments for the past week were away from JAG, and though she would miss her friends she felt like it was the right choice.  
  
The resignation was all typed up and ready to sign. She set it down in front of her, and signed her signature. The first obstacle she had to meet was the Admiral. His actions of late told her this would be no surprise, and he wouldn't stop her from leaving. After that it was all about saying good-bye.  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
2 weeks later  
  
Harm wasn't quite sure he knew why he was there. It had been two weeks since she put in her resignation. Two very long weeks at work. The empty office seemed to be a sore thumb for those at JAG.   
  
The telephone call, he had received last night had changed his view of leaving Mac alone. There was hope that he may find his father, and could even be found alive. The Russian who had gotten a hold of him promised he had important information for him at a high cost.   
  
That information could lead him anywhere. He knew that people would not be happy at his search especially if it led to Russia. He wouldn't tell Mac what was going on, but he needed to her one more time just in case something did happen.  
  
He had to catch his breath when she opened the door. She looked like she was leaving for a formal party. All dressed up and beautiful.  
  
"I'm sorry to interrupt your evening, Mac, but I wanted to come by and see how you were doing."  
  
"I'm doing good, Harm. Come on in."  
  
"I should leave. You look like you are ready to head out for the evening."  
  
"Dalton won't be here for awhile. You're worried about something. Did something happen at JAG?"  
  
"No everything is fine there. I think I may receive some important information for finding my father."  
  
"That's wonderful. Its been your hope for so long to find him."  
  
"It is, but that's not why I'm here." He went over to the CD player, and chose a song. "Will you dance with me?"  
  
"I would be honored." The music swelled around them as they danced. It blocked out all the other things going on in their lives.  
  
As the song ended, Harm leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thank you for everything, Sarah." He left her apartment quickly, never looking back.  
  
TBC... 


	13. What's the Use of Wondrin'

"I'll See You in My Dreams: What's the Use of Wondrin'" 13  
  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: Still not anywhere closer to owning JAG.  
  
AN: Sorry for taking so long to get this part out, but my muse was on other things. I was wondering if anyone would be interested in seeing a prequel to this story about Peter and Mac's relationship. Let me know if you do. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. AngelaB, I'm glad you enjoyed the movie. I'm going to make it as close as possible, and Peter will be back soon. I've got plans for him, don't worry.   
  
"What's the Use of Wondrin'" by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein  
  
Sung by Shirley Jones in "Carousel"  
  
What's the use of wondrin' If he's good or if he's bad, Or if you like the way he wears his hat? Oh, what's the use of wondrin' If he's good or if he's bad? He's your feller and you love him, That's all there is to that.  
  
Common sense may tell you That the ending will be sad, And now's the time to break and run away. But what's the use of wondrin' If the ending will be sad? He's your feller and you love him, There's nothing more to say.  
  
Something made him the way that he is, Whether he's false or true, And something gave him the things that are his, One of those things is you, so When he wants your kisses, You will give them to the lad, And anywhere he leads you, you will walk. And anytime he needs you, You'll go running there like mad. You're his girl and he's your feller, And all the rest is talk.  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
Mac sighed with frustration as she tried to voice reason to Harmon Rabb. "Imes doesn't believe you are innocent. When you go back into court, I want someone to be on your side."  
  
"I can't ask you to do that for me, Mac. You have a new job now."  
  
"That doesn't matter. You're still my friend, and as your friend I want to represent you in your hearing. Plus not only do I believe you are innocent, I know you are."  
  
"What will Dalton think of you ditching the firm to come back here?"  
  
"He'll get over it. All I've been doing since I started there is paperwork anyways. Will you just accept help when it's offered to you?"  
  
"All right, Mac, but don't blame me if you get into trouble with Dalton."  
  
"I won't. Now I have some work to do. Take care of yourself."  
  
"And thanks, Mac."   
  
Mac hung up the phone before grabbing her keys. She was on a mission to find evidence to prove Harm's innocence. The drive seemed to take forever to get to the warehouse.  
  
Once there she found it quite easy to sneak into the warehouse. First, she needed to find a way that Parlovsky could have escaped without being seen by the FBI agents. The markings left by the FBI were still there showing where it happened.  
  
Getting low to the ground she tried to find a place where there could be a hidden door, but nothing stuck out. Giving up she looked upwards hoping to find a large enough vent or trapdoor leading to the roof.  
  
Walking away from the main area, she walked out the direction Parlovsky would have run. About ten feet away, she found it. Opening the door, a small piece of fabric fell down.  
  
"This might be the evidence we need to prove Harm's innocence. Just need to find a way to link it back to Parlovsky." Heading outside once again, she grabbed her cell phone. When the man on the other end picked up, she spoke, "Webb, I need your help."  
  
The next day, Mac walked in knowing she had what she needed to win her case.  
  
Outside JAG HQ  
  
After Harm's Hearing  
  
Harm stood there in amazement as Mac told him that she wanted to come back to JAG. "What made you change your mind?"  
  
"It never felt right. All that I hoped it would be failed, and left me with little feeling of purpose. I had become a paper pusher for a bunch of men who enjoyed having a pretty woman around."  
  
"I doubt all law firms would be like that, Mac. Why back to JAG?" Part of him wanted to kick himself since it seemed he was trying to discourage her, but he wanted to know why.  
  
"Simply put the Marines and JAG is where I belong. I want to be back with my friends. Plus I miss the challenge of going up against you in court."  
  
Harm studied her for a moment trying to find any hint of doubt that this is what she wanted. He didn't want her to come back, because the law firm she worked at didn't suit her. The determination in her eyes told him she was stating the full truth.  
  
"Then lets go talk to the Admiral."  
  
"You don't need to go up with me."  
  
"I'm offering assistance, take it."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"You better get used to that if you are coming back."  
  
Mac's Apartment  
  
That evening  
  
Mac shook her head as she realized she was going to be spending weeks doing freedom of information acts. The admiral had let her back, but she knew it wasn't going to come without a price. It would be worth it, at least for a short while.  
  
She got up as she heard the knock on the door. Leaning against the door jam, Dalton smiled at her with a rose in his hand.  
  
"Major Mackenzie, I presume."  
  
"Come in, Dalton, and yes they accepted me back. For a matter of fact, he never put in my resignation."  
  
"So you've been on vacation during this time. I'm sorry that I pressured you in going into private law firm."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Dalton. Now I have it out of my system. Many JAG lawyers wonder what it would be like to go private, but don't. I had my chance to try it out, and now I know where I belong."  
  
"Right in my arms." Dalton smiled at her, but the phone ringing interrupted any other action.  
  
"Major Mackenzie."  
  
"You are very beautiful, Sarah. I just wanted to let you know I'll be watching you." Mac slowly hung up the phone.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"Just a prankster. It's nothing."  
  
Something told Mac it wasn't nothing. She pushed it out of her mind to be forgotten, but it wouldn't go away that easily.  
  
TBC.... 


	14. Someone to Watch Over Me

"I'll See You in My Dreams: Someone to Watch Over Me" 14 By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: You think if I write enough fanfic I could own JAG. No? Then I don't own it. Spoilers: The Stalker AN: Thank you all for the wonderful feedback on the last part. I'll try to post one more part before I leave on Thursday for Arizona, and I'll be gone until the 24th. The song is available to listen to without downloading or cost here  
  
"Someone to Watch Over Me" by George and Ira Gershwin Sung by Marge Champion in "Three for the Show"  
  
There's a saying old says that love is blind Still we're often told "seek and ye shall find"  
So I'm going to seek a certain girl/lad I've had in mind Looking everywhere, haven't found her yet She's the big affair I cannot forget Only girl/man I ever think of will regret  
  
I'd like to add her/him initials to my monogram Tell me where's the shepherd for this lost lamb  
  
There's a somebody I'm longing to see I hope that she/he turns out to be Someone to watch over me  
  
I'm a little lamb who's lost in a wood I know I could always be good To one who'll watch over me  
  
Although I/he may not be the man some girls think of As handsome to my heart She/he carries the key  
  
Won't you tell her/him please to put on some speed Follow my lead, oh how I need Someone to watch over me Someone to watch over me   
  
Outside Mac's Apartment 2100 EST   
  
Mac threw her garbage into the trash can outside her apartment. Her movements were fast as she felt the hair stick up on the back of her head. A feeling that had been happening frequently since that eerie phone call weeks ago.  
  
Moving towards the door, she heard a crack behind her. Slowing turning around, she looked into the direction came from and saw nothing. Shaking her head, she started back into the building once more.  
  
'Was that a footstep behind her? Oh stop being paranoid. It's probably just an animal running around,' she thought to herself.  
  
It wasn't until she heard the distinctive click of a camera going off that she knew she was no longer alone. There was somebody watching her. Her heart racing sent adrenaline through her as she tried to place the click of the camera.  
  
There was no way she wasn't going to ignore her watcher this time. Scrutinizing the area around her, she tried to pinpoint his position. He was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Come out, and identify yourself," she demanded of her watcher.  
  
"Not yet, Sarah," her watcher whispered in her ear as he covered her mouth with a rag. It would be the last words she heard as she blacked out.  
  
Inside Mac's Apartment 0100 EST   
  
Her head still beat against her eyes causing them to fog up from the pressure. The men in front of her were not helping the tension. The aspirin still had not taken its toll on the headache.  
  
She tried to answer the man's questions to her best ability, but they seemed so set on it being a thief being caught in a moment.  
  
"Thieves don't carry around rags with chloroform with them, Mr....," she finally croaked out at them.  
  
"Allen, Ms. Mackenzie. We realize that they usually don't, but the thief might think its a better way to knock out their victim until they left. There is no evidence proving otherwise."  
  
"What about the telephone calls I've been getting? The feeling of being watched all the time. Shouldn't that be proof that something else is going on?"  
  
"Prank calls that's all. I'm not an expert on why people feel like their being followed so I can't explain that to you. Now is there anything else you can remember?"  
  
"He took a photograph of me."  
  
"No camera found outside, but we'll look into that." The man got up, shut his notebook, and started for the door.  
  
Mac followed the man to the door where he was met by Coster who had been looking for any clues outside the apartment. Mr. Allen left the room after saying goodbye.  
  
"Will you be keeping me up to date on the case?" asked Mac.  
  
"We'll let you know if something comes up. I believe you maybe right about having a stalker. Make sure to lock your doors, Sarah." With those final words he left her apartment.  
  
Changing out of her clothes, she got ready for bed, but she was afraid to sleep. She laid down, and closed her eyes. Her memory playing games with her mind as it replayed the scene for her. It wanted to remember something, but it was not hers to remember.  
  
Outside Mac's Apartment Night of Admiral's Party   
  
Harm moved to Mac's car to place the tracker on the wheel. After setting it in place, he looked up at the low light shining through Mac's windows. Further proof that she was home.  
  
He knew that she would prefer to stay home tonight, and grovel in her anger and sadness over what had happened. His heart ached to help her through this, but he had very little idea what it would be like to have a stalker and break sobriety. He had forgiven her the first moment they left the courtroom. It was pain that said those words not her own feelings towards him.  
  
Deciding to face the wrath of a marine that wanted to be left alone, he headed into the building. He had to find a way to bring her with him to the Admiral's party.  
  
When leaving for the party, they took two separate vehicles so she could leave when she wanted to without him needing to come along. They were going back to the original plan that they had thought out yesterday to draw out her stalker.  
  
Fear drenched his mood, but he hid it behind a party facade he put on for everyone. Something was going to happen tonight. The stalker would make himself known, and he had only the tracker to help find her when the time came. He slightly nodded as she left the party that night. Taking out his half of the contraption, he made sure it was working properly.  
  
He did not have long to wait. It soon showed she was not going home that evening. Making his excuses, he head out to follow her. He almost threw it out the window when it stopped working for a moment of time, but it started up once again.  
  
His heart pounded as he drove the distance to her new location. Neither had any idea what they would find that evening. It was all take what you are given, and follow through on that information.  
  
Arriving at the warehouse where the tracker said she was for the moment. Slowly he walked up to the door, and listened for voices inside. When he felt it was the right time, he headed in, and his first instinct was to gasp at the scene before him. Pictures of her were hanging everywhere.  
  
Time slowly went by as Coster was taken out, but when it was over a weight seemed to lift off his shoulders. The nightmare was ended. Untying Mac, he helped her get up, and they headed out.  
  
Mac's Apartment 0400 EST   
  
Her head was buried in her pillow as tears flowed down her face. The pain and fear being let out physically in those tears. She tried to stifle the sound so Harm couldn't hear them, and rush in to try to comfort her. It wasn't that she didn't want comfort, but she couldn't face him once again like this.  
  
"Sarah, don't cry. Look at me," said a quiet voice next to her bed.  
  
She looked up, and gasped at the ghostly figure before her. "Peter, am I dreaming?"  
  
"You're not dreaming. I've been watching over you since you came to Washington."  
  
"Why only since then?"  
  
"Because I go wherever Harm goes. That man cares very much about you, Sarah."  
  
"And I care about him. I was so mean to him today. I don't know how he could ever forgive me, but he has."  
  
"Would you have forgiven him if he said those words to him?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Then why can't he?"  
  
"Because..."  
  
"There is no because. Accept his friendship, and willingness to forgive. Forgive yourself too."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Much better. Now go to sleep, and remember I'm only a calling a way as long as Harm is in your life."  
  
"What happens if he leaves?"  
  
"I follow him. Now sleep, darling."  
  
Her faced saddened at the thought, but she laid her head down. Before falling asleep she whispered, "I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
With those words she fell asleep. Peter watched over her, and wished that he could hold her as she slept.  
  
TBC....(Coming up soon Death Watch, and a little interlude story into the past.) 


	15. You Do Something to Me

"I'll See You in My Dreams: You Do Something to Me" part 15

By Rita Widmer

Disclaimer: JAG belongs to TPTB at CBS. I just like to play with what they have given me.

Spoilers: Death Watch

AN: I'm sorry for taking so long to get this part out, but RL got in the way most of the time. Plus I was working on other stories. Please review, and tell me what you think.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"**You Do Something to Me" by Cole Porter**

**Sung by Jane Wyman in "Night and Day"**

You do something to me  
Something that simply mystifies me  
Tell me, why should it be  
You have the power to hypnotize me  
  
Let me live 'neath your spell  
You do that voodoo that you do so well  
  
For you do something to me  
That nobody else could do.  
  
Let me live 'neath your spell  
You do that voodoo that you do so well  
  
For you do something to me  
That nobody else could do  
  
That nobody else could do

00000000000000000000000000000

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

00000000000000000

He picked up the old picture, and stared at it for awhile. The faces were so similar that he never would question the truth of everyone having a twin out there in the world. How can two people look so much alike, but be nothing alike? Their only commonality was him, and it was not easy to be the commonality.

There were times over the past year and some that he would start seeing Diane when looking at Mac. Tonight was a prime example of how he could slip into that frame of mind. It usually happened in those rare moments when he felt so close to Mac, but Diane kept it from getting too close. Preventing as Mac would call it a hallmark moment between them.

Were his feelings for Mac only a reminder of old feelings for Diane? Or was Diane popping in only a defense mechanism to keep Mac at a safe distance from his heart?

He had no idea what his heart was telling him, but all he knew was only one of them were still in his life every day. She would be his support in all he did even when she didn't agree with what he was doing.

Sarah Mackenzie, the woman he had physically kissed tonight after helping him find Diane's murderer. In that split moment before their lips met he saw Diane, but when he stepped back he was looking at Mac. Who was he kissing in his heart?

Mac had told him she knew that he was kissing Diane, but was it possible he was kissing both? There were so many questions looming in his mind with no answers in sight.

Could he talk to her about it? Would he only give her insecurity every time they were getting closer that it was only out of his feelings for Diane and not her?

Call her, and talk to her. If you feel like you can talk to her about how you feel then you can, but if you don't then you can at least call her to tell her how thankful you were that she showed up tonight.

Ignoring the clock that said it was 3 in the morning, he picked up the phone and started dialing the all familiar number.

"Hello?" answered Mac.

"It's Harm, I didn't wake you did I?"

"No Harm, I was still awake. Did you need something?"

"After dealing with all that happened tonight, I realized I hadn't thanked you for stopping me from doing something drastic."

"No thanks needed, Harm. That's just what friends do for each other."

"Remember that we are friends, and you will always be important to me."

"Of course and the same goes to you. Is there something wrong?"

"No, no. I just wanted to make sure you knew that. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. Night Mac and thanks."

"Night Harm."

000000000000000000000000000000000000

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

00000000000000

She slowly hung up the phone. Even at the late hour, she was far from sleepy. It was another night of insomnia for her.

Unlike Harm, she wasn't questioning what the kiss meant to her. She believed he was kissing Diane and no one else last night. She just hoped it would put an end to the search for her murderer.

It was one of his many pieces of baggage, and she hoped he would start to solve them. What she could do to help was the only thing she thought about. There was no room in her mind for questioning personal feelings for him.

Her mind wondered back to the phone call she had made when she arrived home. She knew the Admiral would not be happy to hear about it last, or get an early morning phone call.

She was going to meet with him at 7 before everyone else arrived. The Admiral would get the hard facts of the evening from her, and she hoped it would take some of the heat off of Harm.

0000000000000000000000000000000000

JAG HQ

Falls Church, VA

0000000000000000

She smiled as she left the Admiral's office. Oh, there was plenty of yelling that went on, but when it was all done the Admiral had agreed to give them the afternoon off to do one more task.

Looking into Harm's office, she found him just putting his things away.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey, the Admiral must not be very happy this morning."

"Don't worry, I softened him up a bit, and you better get your work done by noon today."

"Why?"

"I just thought you would like to join me on a little trip to see Diane's parents."

"You want come with?"

"Yes. I would like to meet the parents of the woman that means so much to you."

"Thanks, I'll see you at noon."

"It's a date. The Admiral wants to see you. Wish you luck!"

"I'm going to need it."

He followed her out of his office, and split ways in the bullpen. Even though he knew he had to face the Admiral, he had a smile on his face at the thought of delivering the news to Diane's parents. It might bring peace to them all.

TBC...


End file.
